2004-11-11 - 3:07 p.m.

So...it's November, that time of year when thoughts turn to next year (well...at least for me)...

The weather is too inconsistent to rely on outdoor practices and our local indoor practices, although good for one on one work and *maybe* 2 on 2 or 3 on 3, leave the fighter who focuses on War and tactics and strategy with much less to do.

I find myself with a very odd skillset after 6 seasons, admittedly hit and miss in terms of activity, one useful on the War field, but not terribly well suited to tourney.

I am a fair spearman...not the best by any stretch, but also far from the worst. Much could be accomplished here with a simple application of better conditioning, which is good, because the next real good chance to practice spear is likely to be months away.

I am a barely above novice sword and shieldman. I know the theory (several theories, actually...part of my problem is resolving the conflicts between them). I don't enjoy the standard "heater" form at all. I enjoyed the chance I had to pick up a roundshield this past weekend, and that could be pursued, but around here at least, roundshield seems to be something picked up in January, played with in preparation for Ymir, and then put away again.

I can hold my own on the rapier field, again particularly in the Melee rather than the tourney...certainly more skill acquisition there would be a good thing to do...particularly if I ever wish to be noticed and deemed worthy of a scarf of Yellow (Atlantian specific rapier thing), which I do...but I'm not there yet at all.

I fancy myself an above average combat archer...but that field is completely useless in tourney...and also difficult to practice during the winter months (yes, there are indoor ranges, but they look askance at my CA equipment, and shooting normal target arrows is not at all the same...they fly completely different)

I have a beginner's knowledge of strategy and tactics, and some experience putting that into play. However, I doubt I am going to ever get the chance to advance far in that practical study, as I do not have a belt of white or even red, and I will never wear the Crown of the Kingdom, and it seems that all the "command" spots are given to those who have one of those entries on their resumes. I am in the chain of command of a unit in Atlantia (the Queen's Spears), but we only muster for 2 or 3 events a year (major Wars), and even then it seems like the command structure of the Kingdom doesn't know what to do with us.

I am not on the "Track to Knighthood"...that requires far more dedication and committment than I will ever have, as I see this as a hobby, not an avocation. Although I do have a strong and intelligent Knight to serve under as his Vassal, our relationship is built on about a dozen things, only one of which is martial. He has said "I don't see you as a Squire", which is fair, as that role requires committment and skills I do not posess, and am not all that interested in acquiring.

I have my arts, which I pursue and can claim some skill in. I intend to follow them further this winter, perhaps even get to the level where I would feel comfortable enterinng a competition or display. My wife and I are converting a room in our house into a studio, so she has someplace to weave and play with glass while I have someplace to play with molten metal and paper.

I have done much service in the past, and will continue to do it in the future. My role currently is a more passive and educational one than I have had recently, and I am content with that. Sometimes the batteries need to recharge, and although I have had times in this past year where the fun of all of this came back to me...I need more before I feel like I can say "Okay...time to focus on working again".

I just don't know where to go or what to concentrate on doing next...I've got about 20 directions I could travel in, and I don't know what is doable and right.

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