2003-01-16 - 3:35 p.m.

Wow...never thought I'd have to do this...but...

Lawyers are not all bad.

Yes, some are ambulance chasing scum of the earth who should be first against the wall when the revolution comes...but not all of them are like that.

And surprisingly enough, not even all of the Personal Injury Lawyers are bad.

Yep, the field that I work in (No, I am not a lawyer, I do work for some though) gets some deservedly bad raps...but we don't deserve all of them

You probably think a bunch of Lawyers got some idiot 3.5 Million bucks for spilling coffee in her lap. At least, that's the story that the "Everyone should be responsible for themselves and get off the corporation's backs" group tells.

Well lemme tell you the truth, as verified from transcriptions of the actual Court Documents:

• The Plaintiff in question received third degree burns on her groin, thighs, and buttocks. These required skin grafts and a week long hospital stay to treat.
• McDonald's had settled over 700 previous cases of burns from their hot coffee over the previous decade. Yet they had never even considered turning the coffee pot down a notch.
• A McDonald's quality assurance manager testified that the Corporation was aware of the risk of serving dangerously hot coffee and had no plans to either turn down the heat or to post warning about the possibility of severe burns, even though most customers wouldn't think it was possible.
• The Jury found for the Plaintiff in the amount of 2.7 Million Dollars, which is equal to the amount of money McDonald's makes from coffee sales alone in just TWO DAYS. Five days less than she was in the hospital.
• On appeal, the award was lowered to $480,000, barely enough to cover her medical damages.
• Even today, McDonald's still keeps their coffee at 185 degrees, despite knowing that 3rd degree burns can be caused in as little as 2 seconds from these sorts of temperatures.

Now...just how unfair was that judgement?

Alternatively, you've probably heard that a woman won $780,000 for falling over her own son in a furniture store. One problem...this story is false. Try and find it in LEXUS/NEXUS or any other legal database...you won't. It isn't there. It never happened.

Likewise, the story about the guy who sued because he got bitten by the beagle he was shooting at? False. Never happened.

The burglar who sued because he got locked in the garage? False. Never happened.

Corporations don't need to be protected from the Average Joe. The Average Joe needs to be protected from Corporations.

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