2002-09-04 - 11:05 a.m.

Hmm...it's apparently back to funkness and coping with crap all around today.

The question is...what to do about it, and when to do it. The when is the bigger issue...it's Wednesday, Coronation is on Saturday. I'm almost tempted to not go...I need some me time. Not time to be with Gina, not time to be online, not time to play with the puppy, time to be by myself, in a dark room, just letting things settle out.

But, alas, I have responsibilities, so as we all know it'll be Coronation or Bust over the weekend, and then work on a 90some item Letter of Intent...and then doing apprentice Chiurgeon work at Siege of Glengary the following weekend.

And somewhere in here we need to make new chairs. Our old ones stayed at Pennsic (in the dumpster), as they were those $25 Wal-Mart foldable special things that gave us good use for 3 years of maltreatment, but they were going to break at any moment, so they were retired with all due pomp and circumstance (read: Rhiannon tossed em in the dumpster as we were packing the truck).

We've got the plans and the technology to make a set of those nice looking "Take 4 plywood planks and stick em together" chairs...it's just a matter of time.

At least the truck is fixed...that helps. And it only cost $150 and four days of our lives...we need a backup vehicle desperately...maybe in the Spring.

I can't get the motivation together to work today. I have piles of work that need doing...they just aren't done and they don't inspire me to do them. Might be time to figure out why I do this job...and is "Because you've got a mortgage, a car loan, a student loan and a fistful of credit cards...stupid" a good enough reason?

Yeah...I thought it was too...

For that matter, why did I ever sign up to be Golden Dolphin Herald? I think I'm doing a reasonable job (got my second LoI results yesterday...three returns and one pend out of 20 items...and I don't see how I could have affected any of the returns in the slightest...it's just Laurel seeing things differently than I do). But I'm a vocal Herald. I like calling the 65 person list tree with minimal assistance. I like doing Courts. I don't really like researching the minutiae of 14th Century Kipchak Naming practices (Yes, there was a group of people called the Kipchak's...if you know anything about them, please, contact me...I'm desparate).

Oh well...service is it's own reward and I am bound and determined that I will make a difference somehow in my 2 year run. How exactly I don't know...but I *will* make one.

If nothing else, I think I've got some credibility among a different set of people than the previous couple of GD's...noone can say "He just enjoys messing with people's identities because he can't fight" (yes, it's been said of others). I can fight. Yeah, I suck at it frequently (although not as much as I used to, I don't think), but I can, if needed, put on the stuff and trade blows with someone.

Dunno if it helps...but at least it's something. I want people to understand why things happen the way they do, and I want people in the Heraldic community (be quiet back there...they are too people!) to understand that the arcanity of some of the rules and decision processes should perhaps be reduced, and maybe the burden of proof should be with the person claiming something sucks, rather than with the person claiming the element is good.

But, it'll never happen. I'll never be Laurel Herald (and I can guarantee that, since I'm NEVER applying for the job...I'll help with staff if someone local wants it, but I will not be the big boss...WAY too much work), and the folks who are Laurel Herald like playing their game the way they play it.

Oh well...maybe I'll open a chip in the dam that the next person can chip a little bit more, etc, etc, etc. Rome wasn't built in a day and all that.

Time to make it at least appear that I'm doing productive work. Gotta get some reports straight and the like.

�

previous - next

�